that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
