i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
