am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
