My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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