Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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