I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
