What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
