HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
