dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
