i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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