my sisters under your porch take her home
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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