Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
