Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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