like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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