her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When are your genitals available?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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