if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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