Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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