Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
