At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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