He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
