Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Your penis caused this!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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