Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
