He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
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I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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