oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
