I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
