I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
