Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We got so high we made milksteak
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
