That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
