3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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