They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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