The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
