I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
