I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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