Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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