The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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