Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
