I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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