haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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