Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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