i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize