Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
