its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
