If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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