sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it because I queefed?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
