Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize