I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize