Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
