His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
