Umm I'm too high to move.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
