dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
