my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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