People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
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I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.