Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
