is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
