Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
